This past few week have been in a way... kinda different. From dealing with a new family, to dealing with colleges and my future. Oh, and thats of course without counting my usual relapse feelings about my "past". Yesterdays of all days I got a huge bitch slap on my face, "If you try to stabilize everySINGLE thing happening in you life, they are all gonna fall out of balance." Fights, discussions without any true meaning, stress without a cause, why? because of my "need" of keeping everything in perfect motion. But the truth, the truth is that everyday will bring you a new surprise, ones that you won't really like to welcome, and others that are perfect. Me? I'm a person who enjoys the simplicity in life. The relaxed but complexed, interesting conversations with a stranger or a long time friend. Tea in the morning to avoid coffee. A text in the morning saying "hi, good morning". Smiles, laughs with no meaning or with all the meaning in the world. Sitting outside of my apartment, feeling the air move around my body. Knowing that soon there will be a new start. Painting the perfect silhouette of a woman. Love, yeah... love, even though I'm not sure if I've ever been in actual love, yeah, I enjoy the warmth of feeling another person cares, remembers and feels for me as I feel for them. I'm always saying how Im going disappear for at least a year, to LIVE and then come back a different stronger person, but won't that be running from the reality that pulls me together? Probably, You can't really disappear from a world thats constantly moving unless your dead. I don't wanna be dead! My goal is to grow everyday, more and more, and to learn, not to die... but to be born.
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